


De Profundis

by dancey94



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Letters, M/M, Post-Break Up, Post-Episode: s03e07 Digestivo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-24 07:00:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14350326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancey94/pseuds/dancey94
Summary: Remember the letter Hannibal sent Will from prison? Well, it wasn't the first one.





	De Profundis

Dear Will,

I hope you receive this letter as I was promised you would. I am allowed to read and write. Alana showed courtesy and professionalism in treating me like a patient and not some uncivilised animal. I wonder if she fears me at night, as she lies with her wife, their child a few rooms away. Do you fear me? Do you fear I might come back? Or would you welcome me?

I sometimes wish I could visit you unannounced and unnoticed. I’d like to see your new house. I still remember what you’d said about the last one. Do you keep walking away and watch the new boat you created? I hope you managed to find some peace, even if temporary and even if illusory. Don’t let anyone disrupt that illusion.

I believe you know that I miss your presence. You haven’t visited me once since I was admitted. My most recent image of you is the one from the courthouse. And I appreciate your honesty and your feigned indifference. Tell me, do you think if you showed some affection for me they would want to burn you at the stake, too? I wonder why no one mentioned poor Randall.

You see, even though you don’t come to visit me, I feel our bond grow stronger with every day. I dare say that we are closer to each other when our bodies are in a greater distance. You must feel that, too. After all, your first decision after leaving the hospital was to look for me, was it not? You missed me so terribly when I was gone. And I believe, even if you can’t admit it now, that you will miss me terribly again.

I am to spend the rest of my life in this cell. My body may. My mind will be always with you. We’ll be gone from this world because there is no place for us here. You are aware of that. Any decision of adopting a new family would be hasty, made in a moment of doubt and, possibly, anger. But I can imagine you taking that step. And I can imagine how happy you will want to appear. Still, sooner or later you will despise any family you will try to be a part of.

There is always a place in our family, Will. I didn’t think you would ever consider giving it up. I hoped the world I created for us was enough. It’s not too late, yet. Any mistakes can be corrected, now that I know what they were. Still, we should remember them, cherish them, and make new ones. Are you making new mistakes, Will?

You told me you were not going to look for me. That you were not going to find me. That you didn’t want to know where I was. I wonder if you regret those words now. If, after I left, you couldn’t help yourself and looked through the window. Did you catch a glimpse of me walking away for, as you believed at the time, the last time? Did you want to yell, beckon me back? I like to imagine you running out of the house and telling me to stop, telling me there was another chance for us, another world, indeed.

You believed you were free of me at last.

Then, Jack and his people appeared, and you stood there, watched me surrender, on my knees. And you could barely conceive of the fact that I had stayed. But I had to. There was no game if the follower did not want to follow.

Sometimes I imagine you here with me, be it in my own cell or in a cell nearby. I would whisper to you at night and let the air carry my words to you. We could live under one roof like I hoped we would. That’s a selfish vision, I know. But you must admit, I can be a very selfish person.

I told you that you didn’t have to look for me. I am here. For you to come and find me always. I’ll be waiting, then.

Sincerely, Hannibal Lecter.

**Author's Note:**

> it spent too much time in my limbo folder :/ so i hope You enjoyed it, finally


End file.
